You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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