Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
