he wants to bone in the snuggie
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
