If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Two words: blizzard sex
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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