i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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