i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize