That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm bleeding and have questions
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
