I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
