he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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