My sheets look like a crime scene.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she smelled like a LAN party
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
