If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
