Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
