Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
