Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
