I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
