O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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