Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
should my penis look like a turkey
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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