Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
