big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
