I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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