what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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