College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
