ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
