I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
