Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
