I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
