Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize