I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize