tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
