It's Friday. Sex?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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