I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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