You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
