problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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