I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
