in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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