They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
