Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
