my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
