Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
