Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
