So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
