if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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