Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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