Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
