Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
