nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
