So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
