I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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