I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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