A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
