Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
