oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
