remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
