Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
