Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
