I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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