have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
