Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize