His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
