went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
