I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
