dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
