Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
