hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
