Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
