They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
